My favorite thing about The 100 Days to Offload is discovering a variety of personal blogs written by real people. People who just want to write about what they love or what they are doing, and not trying to shove an e-book down your throat or sell you something. They aren’t overly polished or set up with an agenda, they are just normal folks writing and that is the type of content I want to consume while I’m online.
I’ve ran across a couple of posts that seem to mimic my own when I discuss my blogging history. We all started off innocently enough, just online journaling and sharing our passions before slowly deciding that we needed to have a popular blog. That meant writing for others, worry about stats, and growing frustrated rather quickly when our sites didn’t take off. We’d open a blog, shut it down, then rinse and repeat.
Luckily, I learned my lesson at the beginning of this year and it seems like a few other members of the 100 Days to Offload have too. We all now just write for the fun of it, not trying to be anyone or do anything special. Thanks to platforms like Write.as, we don’t have comments, likes, or social media integration. It’s nice. It’s just writing without the drama and without the stress.
While it feels great to read other stories similar to mine, that actually isn’t what I wanted to write about today. Actually, what I wanted to talk about was another project of mine that I’ve nicknamed my Hate Journal.
I process my emotions through writing. A lot of the time, I don’t know what’s wrong with me until I sit down at a blank page and just let it all pour out. After it all comes out, I’m able to use my writing to make a plan of attack and then I feel better.
Sometimes this emotional writing would come out in my blogs. I’d take a moment to reflect on a current crisis or some old childhood trauma and the next thing I know I’m pouring out all these emotions on my unsuspecting readers. Luckily for me, I never had one of those successful blogs, so the amount of people who were exposed to these (at times) immature rants or verbal diarrhea was rather limited. Still, I cringe a little at the thought of how I sometimes let things out of my head that was probably best kept out of the public view. I probably sounded like a nutcase.
I found myself angry a few weeks ago. The unrest inside of me was growing and I knew I needed to find a way to express it. My default reaction was to blog about it, but then I thought about how I promised myself that I would keep my blogging drama free this year. I wouldn’t go off on a tirade about the injustice of the world, because I don’t want to read that and I’m sure no body else does either. We all know the world has its faults, and we’re reminded of it enough. There is no reason for the entertainment we consume to hammer us in the face with it too. So, I’ve done good this year, but I still needed to let it all out.
I sat down and just I just started writing. I wrote about all the rage that was inside me and my frustration with life. I thought about deleting it or saving it somewhere on my PC, but in the past that never made me feel good. I needed to release it somewhere in order for me to feel like it was officially out of my head. So, I found a private, anonymous place online to post my rant and that’s where it lies. The following day, I had a bad interaction with someone, and I wrote again. It resides in that same place too, now affectionally referred to as my Hate Journal.
I felt a little childish about having this private little spot online where I just rant to no one, but after I thought about it some more I felt like this was probably a pretty healthy thing to do. I’m not hurting anyone, I’m not embarrassing myself, and I’m not sabotaging my blog. I’m just exercising my thoughts, releasing them, and moving on with my life and that feels good.
On occasion, I like to read up on Taoism and if you know anything about it, you probably know about the yin-yang. Basically, the idea is there are opposite forces in this world, for example with light you have to have dark. In order to live in harmony, you have to realize that both co-exist peacefully and just let things go. This led me to think about what peace and good feelings this blog is for me, and I guess my Hate Journal in the yin to my yang. They both exist as part of me and there is no reason to feel shame for either.