I’ve always loved journaling. When I began electronic journaling, I started with a simple .txt file and just hammered away each day. There was no audience, no quest for glory, just me and my thoughts hanging around.
Then one day, some friends convinced me to sign up for MySpace. Suddenly, I had a platform and a captive audience. My writing started off fun and innocent, and then slowly turned toxic. So toxic, I decide to take my thoughts off MySpace and put them into a blog and so began my fifteen year hobby of blogging.
I’ve had dozens of blogs covering a wide assortment of different topics. I’d start one, lose my interest, close it down and move on. I had one personal blog for about 2.5 years which was my longest running until currently, where I have a blog that’s about to pass that milestone and I have content pre-written for another year and a half.
One of the problems I’ve had with blogging over the years is that I tend to lose my interest and it stops being fun. I start off with all that excitement that slowly dwindles after I feel responsible to my audience. By audience, I mean the two friends who might actually click on my page, or some random guy who Googles some obscure 90’s reference and stumbles upon my site.
I guess what it all boiled down to was I stopped writing for me. I started writing for others. I started having delusions of grandeur and having a following. I wanted to be a blogger with a small following, it was never about money or fame, I just wanted to feel important. Like my words mattered. But my inability to stick with any of my blogs ruined any chance of that, and to be honest, it would have been too much work, work that I wouldn’t have enjoyed.
Last year, I pretty much stopped writing. I shut down almost everything. I rarely even journaled. I needed for all the noise to quiet down and I needed to see if I’d miss it. I did. I missed exercising my thoughts and working on things, but I realized that I missed the act of writing and creating, not the marketing or desperate attempts for success.
So, when 2020 began, I rebooted everything. I made a small personal blog to just post whatever I felt like. I kept up with my other blog that’s been running for a couple of years, but it honestly doesn’t take a ton of maintenance. Now I write for fun now and nothing more. I don’t try to work out any major problems in my life, I don’t spend all my time whining, and I don’t try to make the next great blog. I just write for an audience of one. If someone else enjoys it great, but ultimately it’s not for them, it’s for me. Finally, I’m writing for all the right reasons.