I started off this year on a pretty good foot. I had a good attitude and I was working towards being more laid back. I was on the path to becoming the guy I want to be. Basically, it’s a version of myself I just wanted to stretch it out a bit more. Be looser and worry less.
Of course, I was making progress and then this stupid pandemic broke out. Suddenly, I found myself concerned from afar, then frustrated, scared, and back around. Suddenly not taking things too seriously was more difficult and I found outlets to distract myself, which usually involved some sort of self-preservation whether it was diving into online privacy or watching westerns. I just needed something to feel some sort of self-sufficiency.
But I’m ready to step back from the edge. I think I finally broke yesterday. I was getting off of work and I realized I felt pretty good. I had done a ton of work on my blog and I just wanted to listen to some cheery music and have a good night.
The night wasn’t perfect, in fact, it was a little dreary but I woke up feeling the same again. I’m tired, but I’m feeling good. It’s like that little cloud of depression is slowly moving off and I’m ready to get back to smiling and laughing more.
The best thing about this pandemic is that it definitely turned the volume down with all the other drama in my life. Suddenly it ceased to exist because people’s BS little problems were seen for what they really were. I also credit myself with some self-isolation that also helped distance myself from some of that crap.
Anyway, I want to stay positive and stop feeling so beat down, so I’m gonna do my best to do that going forward.